10 Things That Make Offensive Linemen Shudder
Every position in football has its own fears, but offensive linemen live in a world of their own. A unique position in a unique sport, offensive linemen operate under circumstances that other positions can't always relate to. Below is a list of things that make offensive linemen shudder, although this is not an exhaustive list:
10) Dressing Rooms. Not to be confused with locker rooms (where offensive linemen shine bright like a diamond), dressing rooms are usually a bit crowded for the big fellas.
9) Favorite Cafeteria Worker Retired. She knew how much mac and cheese you wanted. She knew.
8) Chair Attached to School Desk. Need to go to the bathroom during class? Make sure the seat doesn't come with you.
7) Getting Rolled-Up On. Knee braces and ankle braces help, but only to a certain degree.
6) Baby Powder Gone. "Where is the sweat supposed to go???"
5) Knee Braces Rubbing. A little chafe never hurt anybody, but all practice long? All season long?
4) Event Labeled "Formal." The quarterback and diva wide receiver might look forward to this. And you might too if it's also labeled "buffet."
3) "Get 'em Choppin'!" It can be argued that conditioning after practice is an offensive lineman's worst fear, and this phrase adds to that nightmare.
2) Empty Fridge. Joey doesn't share food, and with an empty fridge you couldn't even if you wanted to (which you wouldn't).
1) QB Getting Touched. Let's cut the crap. Nobody touches the quarterback. Nobody.