How to Elicit Honest Feedback From People Too Nice to Give It
I feel like the people who need feedback the least usually want it the most. And that the people who need feedback the most usually want it the least. Have you ever noticed this?
Think about it.
The guy at the office who always feels like his ideas are the best rarely asks for constructive criticism from others. But the lady who frequently asks for feedback seems to have her life oddly sorted out nicely.
But when it comes to eliciting honest feedback from others, I've found many people are too nice to share their honest thoughts. They don't want to hurt your feelings, so they'd rather not divulge in anything other than the positives.
Try this exercise on for size:
Whenever people tend to not give entirely honest feedback on an idea, draft, or performance, ask them to give you a score on a scale of 1-10.
I would imagine that not many people would give 10s, suggesting that your idea, draft, or performance is completely unblemished and not in need of critique.
I would imagine most people - especially the nice ones - would give an 8 or a 9. The appropriate and immediate follow-up question would then be to ask how you can get closer to a 10.
This exercise will encourage them to coach you up a bit, and in return, will encourage you to be more coachable.
We all want to learn how to close the gap in whatever it is we do. This exercise is a practical and easy way to elicit honest feedback from people too nice to give it, and it results in closing that gap.